A Tribute to Papi

Well, I've been wanting to put this in writing. I want to let all that I feel deep inside for this special person in my life flow out. My thoughts didn't settle and understanding didn't come as quick as I expected. Through the years, God has faithfully and skillfully take every threads of of many colors to paint a clear picture of this one special person in my life. And I thank Him again and again for the finished embroidery He handed me down, when it was finished. I was amazed... So, here is his story...

Di Pasar Baru
Dengan baju kuning yang masih baru itu, kami bertiga diajak jalan-jalan ke Pasar baru. Usiaku baru 6 tahun dan hari itu adalah hari ulang tahunku. Keluarga kami tidak terlalu sering berjalan-jalan ke pusat perbelanjaan, sehingga kesempatan itu sontak membuat kami kegirangan.
Toko-toko di Pasar Baru tidak sedang begitu ramai saat itu. Kami masuk dari toko yang satu ke toko yang lain. Aku tidak tahu apa yang sedang dicari oleh Mami dan Papi. Aku dan kedua adikku begitu girangnya karena tahu bahwa bakmi Gang Kelinci pasti akan menjadi hidangan istimewa hari ini. Ah, kalau dipikir-pikir, begitu sederhananya kebahagiaan kami saat itu.
Kemudian, setelah keluar masuk beberapa toko kain, aku melihat Mami dan Papi masuk ke toko emas. Aku dan kedua adikku mengikuti saja kemana mereka melangkah. Tiba-tiba namaku dipanggil oleh Mami. Dan seraya mengaitkan sebuah kalung kecil berbandul inisial namaku, mami berkata, "Ini hadiah ulang tahun dari Papi." Wah... aku terharu sekali. Bagaimana tidak, itu adalah perhiasan pertama milikku. Aku menatap Papi, hampir-hampir tidak percaya.


It's the 'Little' Things He did
Sekalipun jarang berwisata keluar, pernah sekali waktu pada saat kami libur sekolah, Papiku yang saat itu menjabat sebagai Kepala Sekolah di salah satu sekolah swasta di Jakarta, mengajak kami bertiga untuk 'berwisata' ke sekolahnya. Apa pula ini?
Dengan naik taksi, kami dibawa ke sebuah SMU di bilangan Bulungan. Memasuki pekarangan sekolah yang besar itu, aku terkagum-kagum dengan banyaknya ruang kelas dan lapangan basket dan volley yang besar. Kami bebas bermain basket, berlarian di lapangan dan koridor-koridor sekolah itu dan menggambar di papan tulisnya yang besar. Usiaku masih 9 tahun. Aku merasa begitu bangga akan Papiku hari itu...
Sekalipun disibuki dengan tugas-tugas dari sekolah dan jam mengajar les bahasa Inggris, Papi menyempatkan diri untuk melakukan hal-hal 'rumahan' lain. Di akhir pekannya, dia seringkali bisa ditemukan sedang membersihkan got di depan rumah (lengkap dengan celana pendeknya) dan dilanjutkan dengan mengganti tanah di pot-pot tanaman suplir Mami. Biasanya kalau tidak terlalu lelah, Papi sering mengajak Mami untuk pergi ke Pasar Senen dan membeli ikan yang masih fresh. Entah ikan kakap merah atau ikan mas. Semasa masih ada kolam kecil berisi ikan lele di samping rumah kami, bahkan Papi akan merelakan diri untuk melakukan barbeque tunggal dan meracik bumbu-bumbunya sendiri. Setelah itu, kami akan dengan riangnya berkumpul di meja makan dan menikmati santapan special itu.


Samosir, Bertahun-tahun yang lalu...
Papiku dilahirkan di kampung kecil di atas bukit di pulau Samosir, Danau Toba - Sumatera Utara. Ayahnya juga seorang guru. Kadang waktu mengamati tulisan Ompung Doli (begitu aku biasa memanggil kakekku), dan membandingkannya dengan tulisan tangan Papi, tak habis pikir aku melihat betapa rapi dan teraturnya tuisan-tulisan itu.
Rumah Ompungku adalah rumah tradisional berbentuk rumah panggung (ada kerbau di kolong rumah). Selain mengajar, Ompung juga bertani di ladangnya.
Sejak SMP, Papi sudah merantau ke kota lain dan tinggal di asrama. Hidupnya tidak mudah. Jauh dari Ompung, dia dididik oleh Bruder-bruder Belanda (tidak heran papiku fasih dalam bahasa Belanda).
Papi pindah dari kota ke kota dan menyelesaikan pendidikannya dalam bidang sastra Inggris. Setelah mengajar beberapa waktu di Siantar dan menikah dengan Mami, Papi kemudian memboyong kami ke Jakarta. Sepertinya kakinya tidak berhenti melangkah.
Aku pernah bertanya mengenai hal ini kepadanya, mengapa kami tidak tinggal saja di Siantar. "Papi mau kalian punya masa depan lebih baik. Di kota besar peluang untuk berhasil jauh lebih banyak." demikian selalu jawabnya.


Memory of December
Bulan Desember selalu merupakan bulan yang special bagiku. Bagaimana tidak? Itu bulan dimana kami membuat kue-kue Natal. Sekalipun jarang masuk ke dapur, untuk urusan mencetak kue, aku jagonya. Mami akan siapkan adonan-adonannya dan aku akan dengan senangnya membuat cetakan kue-kue itu. Biasanya ada adonan special yang dibuat Mami untuk 'kembang goyang', ini kue special yang garing berbentuk seperti kembang :)
Nah, untuk yang satu ini, tim kerjaku adalah ... Papi... hehehehe (adik-adikku tidak pernah tertarik dengan kegiatan ini.)
Tidak tahu kenapa, tapi Papi senang sekali untuk ikut serta, and he was pretty serious on this.
Kuali besar berisi minyak goreng dan kompor minyak tanah pun dipindahkan ke ruang tengah, di depan televisi. Adonan sepanci besar pun ikut dipindahkan bersama cetakan panjang yang ujungnya berbentuk kembang itu.
Lalu kami akan bergantian memanaskan cetakan kembang itu didalam minyak goreng yang panas kemudian mencelupkannya ke dalam adonan dan mencelupkannya lagi ke kuali. Berkali-kali... Ada berkaleng-kaleng kembang goyang yang kami buat setiap kali.
Seringkali kami baru selesai lewat pukul 12 malam. But, I love every minute of it! Karena sambil menggoreng, Papi banyak bercerita...


Jakarta, now...
Papiku kembali ke rumah Bapa pada tanggal 1 Desember, 12 tahun yang lalu. Mengenang dirinya yang begitu istimewa, aku sadar bahwa dia telah menorehkan banyak kenangan di hatiku. Aku ingin berkata seperti Andrea Hirata dalam Sang Pemimpi bahwa Papiku adalah 'Ayah juara satu sedunia'. He is the best father for me.

Though he didn't express his love in words (I craved so much to hear him say those words), now I know that he did love me. God brought back all these memories and special moments I had with Papi, assuring me of how much my Papi love me... in his own unique ways.

So God, thank You for this finished embroidery. It does look awesome...

Slip of the Tongue

I have this hilarious old friend who always cracks me up - even when she didn't mean too. She would say things casually and I would just burst out laughing..., how couldn't you...

Here are the few things she said...

- what was that thing to start your internet...the mozzarella what? (hohoho... she think cheeseyy...)
I said, "you mean Mozilla Firefox, right?"

- Hey... my friend just got the latest Blackberry, it's called the Juvenile...(gubrakkkss..!!!)
I said, " Ooo...you mean, the Javelin...cool!!"

Then, her face will turn red while I roll over the floor laughing...

I Lost Weight

Months ago, I was disturbed with the look of my growing body (yups, it's not upward, but forward and sideways hiks..) every time I stand in front of the mirror. Not to mention the hassle I had every time I look for pants and shirt to wear - nothing seems to fit anymore. Then, there were also sharp 'well-meaning' advice from friends and colleges, "Eve, kamu tambah gemuk ya?" (ampun deh...emangnya gak keliatan ya?). One time, I got a text message from my boss : "Your pants is too tight. you either sow it or loose weight." ... hayah...

Well, all that painful experiences led me to a searching season. What I mean by searching season is, I tried to find solution for my growing body weight. (sebenernya alasan lain adalah, aku gak mau beli baju lagi...sayang duitnya, mending beli buku...hehehehe).

Here's what happened to me...

One day, a close friend of mine went with me to see a movie. Then out of the blue she said that she is on 'detox', so she will only eat fruits. Wow... aku melongo! So, bagaimana dong...masa aku musti makan sendiri? Hmmm... Anyway, she inspired me to do detox as well, to reduce the carbo in take and change my menu to only fruits, veggie and water. She pull the trigger...I would say ;)

Then another friend lend me a teaching series Eat and Stay Thin and 12 Reasons Why People Overeat by Joyce Meyer - which has revolutionized my whole idea of eating.
I found some interesting facts:

1. My brain is having problem recording the fact that I am actually full if I have my lunch during meeting time. Also if I have my lunch while working with my laptop or reading reports. Nah..ini dia nih problemnya... no wonder my brain always send red alert that I'm hungry around 3pm or 4pm.

2. My brain will also have problem recording if I eat too fast. This is so true. Biasanya kalau makan bereng team, pasti aku selalu ketinggalan. Entah aku atau mereka yang mulai makan duluan, selalu aku yg paling telat. Beberapa kali aku mencoba untuk makan lebih cepat... Alhasil, aku selalu lapar 2 jam setelahnya.

3. Joyce Meyer said, people that overeat usually do not derives pleasure from other activity. hohoho...how true it is! Sometimes, because of the stress during a constant meetings, looking at project drawings... we went out for a late lunch and comforted ourselves with food and sweets - which include ice cream as the highlight of the day...hiks... (karena abis itu harus sudah balik lagi ke meja kerja)

Then I came across this book written by Gary Smalley, Food and Love.
From him I learned that food has a strong connection with my emotion. This is something new for me. He said, "Your feeling is influenced by what you eat."

to be continued...

Cheerful Sounds from a Jail Cell

Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord!
Phil. 3:1

Joy. The word has a quick, poignant ring to it. Yet it, like other words, has been drained of meaning over the years, even tapped as a name for a dishwashing detergent. Nowadays joy is used most commonly for a sensation like thrill. We think of joy as something you save up for months to experience and then splurge on in a moment of exhilaration: a trip to Dunia Fantasi, a free-fall drive, a heart-stopping ride on the world's meanest roller coaster, a hot-air balloon trip. Paul had a different understanding of the word, as this letter reveals.

When You Feel Like Despairing
Philippians uses the word joy or rejoice every few paragraphs, but the joy it describes doesn't vanish after your heart starts beating normally again. Rejoice, says Paul, when someone selfishly tries to steal the limelight from you. And when you meet persecution for your faith. And when you are facing death. In fact, the most joyous book in the Bible comes from the pen of an author chained to a Roman guard. Many scholars believe Paul wrote Philippians in Rome just about the time Nero began tossing Christians to ravenous lions and burning them as torches to illuminate his banquet. How could a rational man devoted a letter to the topic of joy while his survival was in serious jeopardy? in such an environment, how could joy possibly thrive?

What would you write?
This letter to the Philippians continues to amaze me until this day. I admire the focus this man had, the hope and the faith on the resurrected Christ this man possessed. Paul could have chosen to wrote his letter differently, pouring out his complains, the bitter trial and the unfair treatments he went through and sought comfort in the shoulders and heart of the Philippians. He could have filled his letter with tears, sarcasm and self-pity. But, he didn't! His choice of words reflected his firm belief on the solid rock. Though his body will decay, his spirit man is thriving. Though his hands and feet was bound with chain, his spirit was dancing with joy. Yes, I too can choose my words. I too can choose a different look to the surrounding I am in, the people I am with and to the work I am doing. When people read my letter, would they find words of encouragement, words of hope and joy there? It is my choice....

Walking on Your Own Shoes

Have you ever being handed down some second hand shoes or sandals? I have. And you know what, even though those shoes and sandals looks nice... somehow, they didn't feel quite right on your feet. It has a 'funny' feeling to it ... (you can use other words if you like - to describe the odd feeling of having somebody else's shoes on).

Today, I can recall those moments when I was given a pair of secondhand Channel shoes and relate to the fact that though they are expensive and look nice, still - I didn't enjoy putting them on because my feet didn't feel quite 'right' on them.

You know, it's the same thing with our lives. We are created uniquely with some sets of unique potentials, gifts and talents. The way our lives is shaped, the experiences we went through - good or bad, all the highs and lows - have made us the person we are today. And God said (He ensure us, actually) that ...

"God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. "
Romans 8:28

Problems occurred when we try so very hard to be somebody else, to fit ourselves in another mould. Though you may be able to wear it... it won't feel right! Like wearing those secondhand shoes, my nails felt cramped and... it was so tiring!

Yups! So it is, when you try to fit into another man's mould ... tiring! You feel empty and dissatisfied.

A Significant Touch

(How one half-timer connected with her passion and touched the world)

The first time Rosalind Cook sank her hands into a mound of clay at the age of 26, her soul said, "Ah ha!"

"Shaping that clay into a meaningful form was like finding a piece of myself that had been missing for a long, long time," explains Cook. But life was busy, and for years sculpting terra cotta clay was simply a hobby for Cook, a teacher of the blind before becoming a stay-at-home mother of three, who served on a plethora of school boards and fund-raising committees.

"I realized I was trying to be who other people thought I should be, and I wasn't looking at how God created me. I pulled away from community work and reflected on what really gave me joy in life - and that was sculpting. But I still felt a bit guilty about loving it so much, until a missionary friend watched as I pulled out my clay one evening. I cried as I said to him: 'I don't understand how I can have so much joy in doing this! Where's the significance? This isn't saving souls. This isn't doing anything for anyone. It just feeds me and brings me joy.' "

And that wise man of God replied, "Rosalind, you are made in God's image. He's your Creator and when you use the gifts of His image that gives Him pleasure.'

"From that day on I gave myself permission to sculpt," says Cook. "And I finally connected with its true significance in my life. I was 41. I cast my first bronze at 42 and was able to sell it almost immediately."

Today, Cook's prized bronze sculptures, which range from happy, playful children to full-sized images of Jesus, grace galleries throughout the world. She has donated many pieces to charities, raising far more money than any committee work she ever did.

"My art is a celebration of life and its Creator," says Cook. "It gives me the opportunity to motivate people to give themselves permission to dream. When I gave myself permission to take joy in clay, God sculpted a new world for me in the second half of life. If you delight in your God-given passion, He will give you the desires of your heart - because He put them there! Don't ignore what God is tugging at your heart to do; that's like saying what He has created for you isn't important. Pursue what gives you joy, and you will be amazed by the significance of what God will do through you.

To learn more about the artist and her art, visit http://www.rosalindcook.com


Put Your Hands in the Hands

When word of Rosalind Cook's talent spread, requests for commissioned work became overwhelming.

"I asked the Lord for the strength to say no to some requests because I wanted everything I did to have real significance - value other than a pretty piece of bronze to sell in a gallery."

Soon afterward Cook did a small head study of a woman with a turban draped over one shoulder. The sculpture stopped at the clavicle.

"I wanted to create a woman who depicted beauty not because of her hair, not because of her body, but because she had this inner strength and dignity," explains Cook.

Weeks later a friend saw the small piece in Cook's studio and asked the artist if she would donate it as a fund-raiser for Tulsa Project Woman, a organization that helps women who have no health insurance pay for breast cancer treatments.

"I finished the piece and took it to my foundry to have my mold done and asked for Suzy, who always does them for me. But Suzy wasn't there" recalls Cook. "I learned she had breast cancer and was taking chemo treatments. In tears I told her co-workers what the sculpture was for and was astounded to learn that Project Tulsa Woman had paid for Suzy's treatments."

Later Cook asked Suzy to speak at the event in which the small bronze sculpture would be unveiled. Although shy, Suzy bravely told a crowded room how Tulsa Project Woman took her death sentence and gave her the gift of hope.

"Everyone there was in tears as Suzy, who had lost her hair and her breast, stood beside that sculpture of a woman who depicted beauty - not because of her hair, not because of her body - but because she had inner strength and dignity," recalls Cook. "Suzy was the living embodiment of that sculpture, and the money to help more women poured in. God honored my prayer for significance by taking the least significant thing I had done and making it the most significant. HIS hands guided mine to shape that small study because He knew exactly what its purpose was."

[By Ivey Harrington Beckman}]

You are Unique

I'm volunteering for to be proof reader for any new books that would be sold in the counter - which mean I would get free copies of books and should tell people which one is good and which one is not.

So, I'm reading this new book titled: God is my Coach, by Larry Julian (the writer of God Is My CEO).

I came across an interesting point yesterday (I did speed reading - so fast, but this paragraph was stuck in in my brain and stayed for the whole nite until this morning). So, I pick up the book again...and re-read it slowly...

Boy ... o ...boy... I was captured!!

Larry said something like this:
May be one of the reasons of our dissatisfaction was rooted in the fact that we are not working in position which qualification doesn't fit with our unique gifts. Are we trying to push and fit the uniqueness that God has given and inspired - so it fit with God's purposes for our lives - into something that God has never intended for us? are we a duck that tries so hard to become a lamb?

And then he quoted what Rosalind Cook said (btw, Rosalind is a homemaker, a teacher for the blinds, mother of three - her hobby pottery and makes statues/arts object from brass, etc. Never pursuing her passion because afraid that she would not be ministering to God - karena bikin patung gak ada hubungannya dengan manusia and 'jiwa-jiwa' - she waited until she got an understanding when she was 41 yrs old. At the age of 42, she explore her passion with full effort, and sold that work of art in an instant. Today her works is in sold in many parts of the world.) :
"My artwork is a celebration of life and the Creator. My artworks give me a chance to motivate and inspire people to let themselves to DREAM. If you delight yourself in God (in what He has given you, meaning your unique talents and giftings), He shall give you the desires of your heart - because it is Him that has placed those desires within your heart! Don't ignore His prompting in your heart to do something.; because that would mean you are telling God that whatever He has put in your life is of NO importance. Pursue what gives you pleasure and satisfaction, and you will never deny how meaningful it is what God has done through you."

I never seen Ps. 37:4 from this angle before. I always thought, delighting yourself in God means, taking His words to your heart, believing it. But then...delighting myself, celebrating the fact that God made me the way He made me, with all my unique talents, passion for writing is ...something else.

Whoa...I got it now. ...

When God interrupted your thoughts

I was reading an article posted by Lee Grady about the 'famous bus ride' of 4 days a pastor took in order to meet him, so he would come to his country, a country that has treated women so badly...
when suddenly a thought slipped in my mind...
hey...what have i done with the many friends i have listed in my facebook account? what am i waiting for now...? an opportunity? a voice from heaven or a sign - before start engaging and doing something to bring salvation to them?

time flies and they can be lost one by one...

I feel restless...

how come...this thought has never occurred before??

in such a busy traffics going on in my brain...this thought of how my friends would spend their eternity slipped by...

God what are you telling me?

What Blocks your Creativity?

Blocks to creativity exist when you find yourself not having a creative space that you can escape to. Your life feels dull and you do not feel inspired. You experience little joy in what you do. It is more like going through the motions!!

Blocks to creativity also exist if you find yourself falling short of your potential. Your inner knowing tells you that you are capable of much more; yet when you try, it seems hard to have a major breakthrough. It is possible that you are stifling the genius within, when you do not allow adequate self expression.

10 Blocks to your creativity

1. Fear of Criticism
Perhaps one of the biggest blocks to exploring creativity lay in the fears that your ideas will be criticised. You are afraid that you will not receive support. After all, if your ideas are new and have never been explored before, you put yourself at risk of being ridiculed for them. You perceive that the more your ideas deviate from current norms and trends, the greater the chance of receiving a poor response to them. In seeking to protect your fragile ego, you prefer not to voice your ideas. You would rather not even indulge in your creative daydreams to begin with!

2. Fear of Making Mistakes
Then, there is also the fear that you are setting yourself up for more failures by coming up with new ideas. While creativity gives you a chance for innovation, your ideas may turn out to be a success or a complete flop. “Wouldn’t it be safer to stick to conventions or to old and tested ways?” you reasoned. Fear of making mistakes can be a huge obstacle, preventing you from exploring creativity freely.

“Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.”
Quote by Erich Fromm

3. Too Much Clutter
Too much clutter can block the flow of creativity. Clutter can be both mental or physical clutter. In terms of mental clutter, creative ideas cannot flow freely if you are limited by thoughts of negativity like fear, blame, worry or shame. It will be quite impossible for ideas to come round, if your mind is constantly busy with thoughts; such as making arrangements for your schedule, how to make ends meet or whether or not to join the MLM program that your friend is promoting.

In terms of physical clutter, too much paper and things lying around, as well as too many possessions, can be distracting. They are productive suckers, occupying your mind with little or no space left to explore creativity.
(Sur comments: At here where the Concept Map can help you to structure your cluterred mind.)

4. Low Self Confidence
If you suffer from low confidence, you may believe that you are not capable. Hence, you choose to believe that you are not able to come up with creative ideas. You think that creativity is the domain of only geniuses or those who are smarter than you. Limiting thoughts make great blocks to creativity!

5. Not Enough Time To Relax
A brain that is overworked, with no time set aside for relaxation, will find it hard to produce creative ideas. It is too busy with thoughts on activities and tasks. When you are relaxed, great ideas will flow like gushing water from a tap that is fully turned on.

6. Inadequate Sleep
Inadequate sleep can hinder you in coming up with creative ideas the next day. Your physical body needs to feel good first before you can develop and explore your mental creative faculties.

In fact, it is said that many successful people have received their greatest revelations while in a dream-like state and transformed their own lives or even the world around them. One good example was Thomas Edison, who was awarded 1368 distinct patents and invented, including the incandescent light bulb, the phonograph, the film projector, and the first motion picture. Edison was known to have said, “Ideas come from space�. Edison purportedly took frequent naps in the afternoons and woke up with solutions to the most perplexing problems.

7. Lack of Priority
If you do not attach any importance to being creative, guess what? You are not going to enjoy the benefits of being creative either. You will be like how you are now - dull and listless. Consider setting aside time for developing creativity. It will be a good idea to also start keeping an idea journal, to faciliate this process.

8. Stubbornness
A refusal to let go of your existing beliefs and thoughts can limit you in thinking of new possibilities. The more you identify yourself with specific values, meanings, beliefs and symbols, the more you will stifle creativity. On the other hand, the more you focus on how values, meanings, beliefs and symbols are formed and interrelated, the more you can explore creativity.

9. Poverty Thinking
You tend to associate those in the creative arts as poor and struggling. Hence, you may feel that it is not important to explore creativity since it cannot help you pay your bills. Why bother to waste time developing right brain thinking when you can rely adequately on your left brain to feed you?

10. Inappropriate Comparisons
If you think that only special, talented people are creative and that geniuses are born and not made, then you may have no wish to develop your creative abilities. You protest that you can barely draw, sing or dance. You are definite that you are tone-deaf or color-blind. You consider people like Shakespeare, Picasso and Mozart as “gifted”.
(Sur comments: see again The Multiple Intelligence. Those people are gifted in Verbal/ Linguist, Visual and Musical; but perhaps lacks in Analytical/ logical side.)

Here is an exciting piece of information for you: When researchers examined outstanding performances in the arts, mathematics and sports, to determine if “the widespread belief that to reach high levels of ability, a person must possess an innate potential called talent”, they discovered the opposite. It is also important to highlight, for instance, that Mozart trained for 16 years before he produced a masterpiece.

While it is true that it is best to develop your innate abilities, the strict definitions of creativity to areas in arts, should not apply. Creativity is also an essential part of innovation and invention and is important in almost every profession. It can be explored, developed and trained in many ways.

Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds is a 2009 war film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and released in August 2009 by The Weinstein Company and Universal Pictures. It was filmed in several locations, among them Germany and France,[3] beginning in October 2008.[4] The film, set in German-occupied France, tells the story of two plots to assassinate the Nazi political leadership, one planned by a young French Jewish cinema proprietress, the other by a team of American soldiers called the "Basterds".





Tarantino has said that despite it being a war film, Inglourious Basterds is a "spaghetti western but with World War II iconography".[5] In addition to spaghetti westerns, the film also pays homage to the World War II "macaroni combat" sub-genre (itself heavily influenced by spaghetti-westerns).
Inglourious Basterds was accepted into the main selection at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival in competition for the prestigious Palme d'Or and had its world premiere there in May.[6] It was the only U.S. film to win an award at Cannes that year, earning a Best Actor award for Christoph Waltz.

Funny??
Well, I was invited to watch this movie in a night where I used to be so occupied. They said this was a good movie and 'funny' too. Thinking that I might use a good laugh after a whole series of meetings, so I decided to go... with the caramel popcorn in my hand. My hopes were high for a fun, relaxing time...

I watched through and even fell asleep in some parts because the movie is partly in French and German - so may be because I had to constantly look at the screen for subtitling, my eyelids couldn't cope with the strain.



The movie started with a polite and sleek German "Jews hunter" that had his troop shooting the basement where a French farmer hide a Jewish family. That set the horror already for what was to come...(well, if you decide to watch it after reading this, it's up to you. But you could also check out the story line which is available on the net.)

Anyways, the climax of the movie is when the movie theater where all the Germans gathered was in fire, and they were all trapped inside. Then the 2 Americans (the Basterds) who had sneak in there started shooting all the Germans vigorously - like they were having fun doing it.

My heart was restless when the movie ended. I could not shake those scenes I just saw. I couldn't explain why I felt that way, I could not put it into words. But after a couple of days, my thoughts began to settle down and I was able to search my heart as to what had made me so restless.


Firstly, I believe World War 2 was no joke - whoever parties involved at that time. Countless lives died during that war. Thousands of families experience loss of their loved ones. These are moments of despair and sadness. So, to turn the whole thing into a joke won't be 'right'. It's too much!!



Secondly, I wonder how would the young German generation think when they watch that movie? What kind of feeling erupted in their hearts after they watch the scene where the Americans slandered and shoot all the German soldiers - taking their scalps alive, even??

Are we creating and igniting a new war? Hasn't we seen enough already???

Other Movies
As for movies, my liking is for true story and children animated ones. I also collect lots of war movies - basically because I study the history and the strategy of wars. You can name all the movies of World War 1, World War 2, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War, even the recent ambush to Afganistan - are in my library.

Some of the great true stories during the Holocaust :

God at Work

In the beginning God created...

The Bible begins with these famous words. God, like an artist, fashioned a universe. How can we grasp the grandeur of this?

Michelangelo, perhaps the greatest artist in history, may help us to understand. He painted Rome's famous Sistine Chapel to retell Genesis' story of creation. His experience proves one thing: creativity is work.

An Exhausting Effort
Michelangelo had 6,000 square feet of ceiling to cover - the size of four average house roofs. Anyone who as painted a ceiling with a paint roller has caught a hint of the physical difficulty of such task. But Michelangelo's plan called for 300 separate, detailed portraits of men and women. For more than three years the 5'4" artist devoted all his labors to the exhausting strain of painting the vast overhead space with his tiny brushes.


Sometimes he painted standing on a huge scaffold, a paintbrush high over his head. Sometimes he sat, his nose inches from the ceiling. Sometimes he painted while lying on his back. His back, shoulders, neck and arms cramped painfully.
In the long days of summer, he had light to paint 17 hours a day, taking food and a chamber pot with him on the 60-foot scaffold. For 30 days at a stretch he slept in his clothes, not even taking off his boots. Paint dribbled into his eyes so he could barely see. Freezing in the winter, sweating in the summer, he painted until at last the ceiling looked like a ceiling no more. He had transformed it into the creation drama, with creatures so real they seemed to breathe. Never before of since have paint and plaster been so changed.


The Miracle of Life
But, as Michelangelo knew very well, his work was a poor, dim image of what God had created. Over the plaster vault of the Sistine Chapel rose the immense dome of God's sky, breathtaking in its simple beauty. Mountains, seas, the continents - all these, and much more, are the creative work of God, the Master Artist.
God's world, so much bigger and more beautiful than Michelangelo's masterpiece, is the product of incomparably greater energy. As author Eugene Peterson has written, "The Bible begins with the announcement, 'In the beginning God created,' not 'sat majestic in the heavens' and not 'was filled with beauty and love.' He created. He did something. "

In the beginning, God went to work...

(Introduction to the Book of Genesis, which I committed to study again)

Painter of Light

I went to Placerville, California several years ago and while I was strolling down the streets, going in and out of stores, I came across this painting gallery. Something about the name of the artist that rang the bell in my mind. I watched an interview in TBN while I was in Jakarta about this unique and talented man.




The Artist
Thomas Kinkade is America's most collected living artist. Coming from a modest background, Kinkade emphasizes simple pleasures and inspirational messages through his paintings. As a devout Christian, Kinkade uses his gift as a vehicle to communicate and spread inherent life-affirming values.

It was while growing up in the small town of Placerville, California that these important values were nurtured. It was also during this time that Kinkade began to explore the world around him. He spent a summer on a sketching tour with a college friend, producing the best-selling instructional book, The Artist's Guide to Sketching. The success of the book landed the two young artists at Ralph Bakshi Studios to create background art for the animated feature film Fire and Ice. It was also during this time that Kinkade began to explore light and imaginative worlds with abandon.

After the film, Kinkade earned his living as a painter, selling his originals in galleries throughout California. In 1982, he married his childhood sweetheart, Nanette, and two years later they began to publish his art.

Painter of Light
During my visit to his gallery in Placerville, I noticed one thing. There were light switch near most of those paintings. The guide in that gallery showed me how to switch on the lights and played with the different brightness and saw how those lights effected the paintings. It was interesting.
During the interview in TBN, Paul Crauch asked Mr Kinkade of how he would want to be known. Mr. Kinkaid said that he want to be known as The Painter of Light.



How interesting to hear that. I am amazed of the unique talent of this man who could put lights in all his paintings capturing the best colors nature can offer.

Yet, to think of Thomas Kinkaid, The Painter of Light, I can't help to wonder in amazement of The Great Artist, The Master Painter, Who does His paintings and stroke His brushes, applying the beautiful colors by the words of His mouth. God has in his painting studio, all kinds of brushes...big and small. The way He strokes is always gently and loving.

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—
the moon and the stars you set in place—

Psalm 8:3

See, God is busy with His brushes... putting all kinds of 'lights' the the painting He's creating.


And as He said, I know the plan I have for you... plan of peace...to give you hope and a future...

Yes, like Mr Kinkade, God my Great Painter has a finished painting in mind of my life... He strokes His bright colors to bring light in my dark and gloomy days. With Him by my side, all my days are full, warm and bright...

Leaky Vessels

Can you just imagine filling water into a clay vessel that has cracks?? Every morning you would fill that vessel and in the afternoon all the water slowly leaks out. When you comes back, the vessel was empty of water. The next day you try again...and in the afternoon, the water is gone. The next day it happens again, then the following day...and the following week. What happen? Have you been so careless and you spill the water before it reach the clay vessel? No..no...no..., The water is gone simply because there are cracks in that clay vessel. All this time, you've been putting water in a leaky vessel. Frustrating, huh?? Well...it happens :)

I've been meeting several leaky vessels lately...some with major cracks, and some with thin cracks - you barely can't see it. All this time I was wondering how come even the best act of kindness from my part was wiped out in just a short periode of time. You give them surprises in their birthdays - still they don't feel it's enough. You write them notes, check on them from time to time, still they don't feel they are cared for. These people constantly feel unwanted, not loved much, not appreciated, under-valued...ah, you name it. Never enough!

Until this thought come to mind... leaky vessel. That's it! All the things you've poured on them was leaking out , they can't contain it. The cracks and the leaks that constantly happen leave them in want all the time. And they want you to keep on filling some more ... giving them more that you can handle. They demand from you...

And the vessel that he was making from clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter;
so he made it over, reworking it into another vessel
as it seemed good to the potter to make it.

Jer. 18:4 (AMP)

(Interestingly, God loves these leaky vessels that He wouldn't want to throw none of them. He would work them again and turn them into the best form God has in mind.)

to be continued...

Fingerprints on my reading glasses

In the early years when I began to use glasses, I remember how my dad used to show me how to clean up those glasses. He would put water and soap in a basin and then carefully holding the frame he would gently rub the glasses. Then dipping them several times in the water while gently cleaning them. He told me not to touch the glass but to hold firm the frame in hand. "Otherwise you would get your fingerprints on these glasses," he would say.

This morning, when I woke up and about to open up my computer, somehow my sight got blurred...I found out later it was because of my glasses. It was dirty. I looked real close and saw fingerprints all over the glasses...hmmm, must be from last nite reading session and falling asleep with those books and the bopies :)

Well, I couldn't help thinking about what my dad told me years ago, 'you would get your fingerprints on those glasses.'

Now here's what I realize. I couldn't help it that my fingerprints are all over my glasses. It would, you know, if you touch those glasses. For sure, you'll leave marks of fingerprints there.
You see, it's the same thing every time we meet people and interact with them. One way or another, we'll leave marks on them. Whether it is good or bad, of joy or sadness, of encouragement or disappointment - but your marks will be there.

With this thoughts in mind early this morning, I sort of make a promise to myself that I would leave good marks in the lives of people I meet today. I want them to feel appreciated, loved and accepted. I want them to feel uplifted and encouraged..

The Soloist

The Soloist is a 2009 drama film directed by Joe Wright, and starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. The screenplay by Susannah Grant is based on the book, The Soloist by Steve Lopez. The film is based on a true story of Nathaniel Ayers, a musician who develops schizophrenia and becomes homeless.

Foxx portrays Ayers, who is considered a cello prodigy, and Downey portrays Lopez, a Los Angeles Times columnist who discovers Ayers and writes about him in the newspaper. The film was released in theatres on 24 April 2009[1] and on DVD and Blu-Ray August 5.

I watched this movie during my hibernating period a couple of weeks ago... ohh those precious couple of days ...and was deeply moved.

Well, here I saw how a writing can have such an impact to people's life everywhere, even to the writer himself. I watched how well meaning act of kindness can be turned down because of some mental disabilities, but how friendship would bridge the gap and actually bring healing to a mentally disturb person.

The movie really moves me - I don't care what the rating posted by Rotten Tomatoes said - it bring forth the softer side of people, the tender spot any human being has deep within their heart - the side that want to do act of kindness, the side that grieve whenever there's pain and injustice done to mankind.

I wish there will be many more movies like this come to the theaters, to revive the numbness in people's heart because of all the junks in the media [00...i should be sharing more on this in my next posting...hmmm...i just can't stand it!]

Well... watch the movie...you won't regret it!

Lucky I'm in love with my Best friend

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooh ooh ooh..

That's the chorus of the famous song by Jason Mraz, Lucky.

As I enjoyed the beat of the music and hummed the melody, a thought crossed my mind.

"To be able to be in love with your best friend"...would it mean, you ought to be friends first before hastily offer your heart to someone?

I met lots of broken hearted girls and guys... and some are my close ones. Too many times, it was a love at first impression or I should say a short time fling, where people got emotionally entangled and think that it must have been love. Then, too often too soon, they offer the sacred words... I love you (the words almost drainned to it's core and loose the truest meaning of it).

Words like 'I love you' becomes so cheap and easy to hear. Hearts are easy presents we toss and shift, like it's nothing.

Ah...

The shock of your life comes when your eyes finally open and reality come to being. The person you thought was 'the' one turns out to be a total disappointment. You haven't figure out all the other facets of this human being now you sorrily call your 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'.

Well... at the end, people would say ..."It doesn't work out. Can't we just be friends now?"

Broken Instruments

I came across these pictures while i was surfing the net for other images I needed.

Broken down and damaged, you would think who would want to use these broken instruments? No beautiful sound would ever be able to come out of such things. Nobody would go to any music stores looking for broken down instruments...I mean, nobody would display such instruments by their windows expecting customers to drop by and shop inside. To put it further, putting such instruments will distract customers from coming to your store.


Yeps… that might be true…

But now, I want you to see another kind of broken instruments…our hearts.

We all have walked our different journeys. Life experiences have somehow gotten our hearts weary, tired and … broken. Unfulfilled hopes, shattered dreams, bitter and painful experiences have somehow ruined the strings on these unique instruments.

Passers passed by and they said…hopeless, there’s no way anything good would ever come out of those broken stuffs.

Hmmm, wait a minute… don’t make your comments that fast…or, ‘don’t jump the gun!’, a cowboy would say

Now, look real close at this…


Hey, somebody is holding that broken down stuff…

Hey…there’s beautiful sound coming out of it…!!!

Yups, you’re right, brothers. Of all those passers, there’s One that stopped by, … looked at those broken instruments and… He picked them up…one by one

The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit.
God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin.

Ps. 51:17 (NCV)

He hold them fast in His hands…and in His hands, in His hands alone…those old broken down stuffs begin to produce the most beautiful sound the world has ever heard …and …when you look real close, it’s not only come from one instrument but from a big orchestra… An orchestra made out of broken down instruments….


Hey...you can look and read a list of broken instruments in Matthew 1 (yeps, He decided to start the New Testament with this list...unbelievable...- you would not start a book with a genealogy, would you? It would be such a boring thing!).


With a trail and long list of all these broken instruments - consists of a liar, adulterer, somebody that committed incest with his daughter in law, harlot and ... peeping thumb? - then came the Messiah!! These broken instruments made a grand orchestra with symphony so beautiful with crescendo of the birth of Jesus.


Fantastic…!


So, today… when I see a ‘broken instrument’, I would not tossed it aside or throw it away… I want to hold it in my hand and gently, like the Hands that are holding me, I want to make beautiful sound out of it…for I too was once that broken instrument.

“The heart is the only broken instrument that works.”
- T. E. Kalem

A pen of a ready writer

"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king:
my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."
Psalm 45:1

I was up way so early this morning (I did plan on getting up early) to get things done. While doing these things I did plan to do, I remember my sister's comment on a blog she visited few days ago. So, I thought I'd checked it out.

And then to my amazement, I read all these posting - done by a girl... barely known... - and I truly love her writings, so authentic, down to earth... originale...!

I've been thinking through about these 'writing' stuffs lately. The 'why' behind the writings.

And here's what I found, to write is not something we do just for the sake of fun. I remember the days when I was so moved by the writings of Leonard Ravenhill, Oswald Chambers and the many great men of God of the past. There are something in those writings that are alive. You can still feel their hot burning passion as you read and re-read their writings. These are not ordinary writings.

Their writings have moved and shape a generation and alter the course of history. Amazing!

So, with this thoughts in mind, I surrender myself to the hand of God, may He uses me as His pen to write things He wanted, messages He tucked deep within my heart. As He said, I only need to be a 'ready' writer. No need to be skillful first. He'll shape and polish my skill as I go along hand in hand with Him. May the writings of this pen makes similar impacts as those writings of old, penetrating society and culture, touching the heart of people, ... even one soul at a time.

Suri Cruise with high heels...(is this the trend nowadays?)

The Little Girl with High Heels

I was enjoying my low-fat yogurt with my top three toppings when this little girl walked passed me. Something in her caught my attention immediately. I looked and observed and ... there it is... She was wearing this pink tank-top with a flowery skirt, her hair hang loose and... silvery high heels sandal. Ah... so small, cute... yet, so mature?

I can't shake this sight and went home capturing the image in the memory bank of my head.

As I did my research, here is what I found:
TIME magazine reported sales of thong underwear to 7-12 year old girls in excess of $1.6 million in the year 2003, and the trend continues along with other alarming fashion trends for little girls. Consider the findings of two years of study by an American Psychological Association (APA) task force on the sexualization of little girls. The APA task force’s report states that music lyrics, Internet content, video games and clothing are now being marketed to younger and younger girls. The smutty content of the marketing is linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. Ironically, this early sexualization presented to young girls has “negative consequences on girls’ ability to develop healthy sexuality.” In experiencing sexuality too soon, they actually lose their ability to experience it in a healthy way as adult women.
Actually this is nothing new, or was I lost somewhere in the mountain that I didn't know what the trend is now. You can surf the web and you'll find babies with high heels, even the famous Suri Cruise whom comfortably walk alongside her mum with her high heels.

My concern is, as the media and fashion industry bombarding our little ones with products they can sell, we are beginning to loose the innocent of their childhood. We have awaken things in them that should not be awaken. We have introduce them to a world that soon will capture their desire and wanting.

My friend always have her little daughter accompanying her for her shopping spree, foot massages and spas session. Not long after, she found out that her little daughter began to want the same thing, dresses the same way she does. And she wonder why...? Hayoh...

The advise from Dennis Rainey stayed with me:
The earlier our young women begin learning modesty, the better. It is very hard for teenage girls to cover up more when they’ve not been trained in modesty from an early age, especially when they are living in a culture that encourages females to flaunt their bodies.Take bathing suits, for example. If you start allowing your daughter to wear a little two-piece bikini when she’s four, you may have a battle on your hands when her figure blossoms and you want to switch her to a one-piece suit at 14.

The Funny Thing About Human Beings

A man asked my friend Jamie Cohen: 'What is the human being's funniest characteristic?'
Cohen said: 'Our contradictoriness. We are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our lost childhood. We make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. We think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present not the future. We live as is we were never going to die, and die as if we had never lived.'

(From 'Like the Flowing River' by Paulo Coelho)

Time or Money

Max Lucado wrote: "Zachaeus was a wicked man. The cleanest thing he had was probably the money he took from the people. But, Jesus had time for him."
The word time stayed with me, and then like a cow chewing on and keep on chewing on its food, the realization began to sink in.

Here was this rich guy - well, he was rich from a 'dirty job' he was doing for the Roman empire. He had devoted all his energy chasing after this thing called 'money' that he thought was the highest currency of all. He was small in stature and the Bible didn't tell us whether his family was joining him during the great look out that day.

What amazed me is, when Jesus came near, without any restrain and hesitation, He stopped right in front of that sycamore tree and look up...

Now, how could this be if it is not being 'pre-arranged' by God??

I always marvel with findings like this. The burning bush, the wells (there are many great things happening by those 'wells', just outside the Jericho wall...and many more). I believe God has his agenda full with appointments, common meeting places where He would meet common people and then change them to be extraordinary men and women.

Then, Jesus called his name, "Zachaeus..." - ah, didn't I say so, He had it all planned. He knew it. He knew that Zachaeus would be up on that tree.

He said for Zachaeus to hurry up and come down, because that day He MUST abide at Zachaeus home. (KJV, Luke 19:5)

Wow... to come and visit is already great. To come and dine is superb. But... to come and abide?

This must not be true...or is it??

Jesus, the great healer, deliverer...the Son of God...abide ... in Zachaeus' home?

I looked up the original text and found out that the word 'abide' means 'to stay in a given place, to dwell, to continue, to endure'. (note that down, in a given place - He's not coming in by force!)

Jesus wants a permanent residence in the home of our hearts. He is not a temporary guest.

What Jesus was offering Zachaeus that precious noon day was something more valuable that the highest currency known to him. Jesus gave him His 'time'.

I used to think - even now, sometimes - that giving people 'time' is not a easy thing, especially in such a busy and hectic schedule. I mean, when you give somebody your precious 'time', it's not like you would sit idle with them. In giving people your time, I picture that you would be with them, talking, listening - umm, this is usually the hardest part - well, doing things together with them.

So, this is what Jesus did to Zachaeus on that special day. He went to Zachaues' home, sat in his living room, talking and listening to him, ate with him and his whole family. Boy, Zachaeus must have felt soooo special that day, to have somebody like Jesus spending time with him. He must have felt appreciated, accepted, loved...

The Lord spoke to me with this whole insight, ... I can always give people my money, but in giving them my time is when they would sense and feel the love I have for them. May God grace me in this area.

The movie "UP" (don't let your dreams die...)

The synopsis for Up reads something like this: “By tying thousands of balloon to his home, 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream to see the wilds of South America. Right after lifting off, however, he learns he isn’t alone on his journey, since Russell, a wilderness explorer 70 years his junior, has inadvertently become a stowaway on the trip.”

The opening of this movie is nothing short of magical. It shows us Carl (the main character) as a young boy who loves and dreams of adventure. He meets a young girl who shares his imagination and the movie then, mostly without dialog, goes on to tell the story of how they fell in love, married and shared a wonderful life together, a life where the two always dreamed of going on an adventure, an adventure they never got to share due to his wife passing away. I just can not put into words how beautifully this entire part of the story was told. So touching, so real, so happy and so sad.

Watching this movie, I can’t help thinking of my own dreams. Carl had his dreams paced on the walls, on their DREAM Book. Ah, how important it is!

Our mind get weary, our vision get blurred at times. Life’s pressure sometimes can get us so down that we loose sight of our dreams. It was said, “Write this.Write what you see.Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run…”

Writing down our DREAMS and make it visual is very important.

People says, ‘Time flies…’. Yes, it does. Before you know it, you’ll get old like Carl and you’ve spent most of your time leaving in the comfort zone, neglecting all the dreams you once had when you are young. Not that the comfort zone is not good enough. But as John Maxwell said it, the good can be the enemy of the best out there. As we reach out, step out, suddenly we’ll find out all the potentials we never knew exist from within us. All the creativity, the ideas, the talents and skills…all that were invested by God as He formed us in our mother’s womb.

Up is perfect. I have no other way to put it. Thoroughly entertaining, extremely touching, brilliantly animated, hilariously funny, excitingly adventurous and flawlessly told.

Overall, it spoke a personal message to me…Dreams can come through, no matter how old you finally see it manifested, as long as you pursue it with all of your heart.

"Hibernating" time...

As we are approaching the Idul Fitri ...excitement is on the air, both for the Muslim and the non muslim. It's holiday...it's time to take 'time off' from the hectic and busy schedule.
All year round, I've been so tight up with works, going here and there, visiting, caring, encouraging, cheering others ...
It reminds me of my all used up laptop..it gets so hot at times because i use it all day. Then in moments time, it will simply goes off to black..to hibernate - it cool off ;)
So, this holiday season, I'm gonna take sometime off to hibernate. I'm having a little of "me" - time these next couple of days, to cool off, to gain strength, to wait upon the Lord and get filled up again.
I'll sit back and read some of the books I've been postponing reading and sipping cups of hot chocolate. ..ummm, can't wait for it!

"Come to ME..."

The word strucked me as I read it from Max Lucado book this morning. I've read it millions time, I thought. But this time it brought back a fresh insight to me.
It's sounded more like a personal invitation to come closer and be intimate with a person rather than various activities, we mistakenly thought all these times.
Getting more active and be involve with tons of events and works are not the solution to a weary soul.
I picture a ship, battered and tossed to and fro in the midst of a high sea...weary, tired...
So, I readily accept this invitation to come to the One harbour where I can rest my weary and battered ship, and in Him- in Him alone, I'll find my rest...

O love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee I give thee back the life I owe That in Thine ocean depths its flow May richer, fuller be. O light that foll'west all my way, I yield my flick'ring torch to thee; My heart restores its borrowed ray, That in thy sunshine's blaze its day May brighter, fairer be. O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not vain, That morn shall tearless be. O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee; I lay in dust life's glory dead, And from the ground there blossoms red Life that shall endless be.