What is it with MARRIAGE?

Well, my whole great family is overjoyed because of the upcoming wedding of my cousin. We did the engagement ceremony several weeks ago and her wedding is to be held this coming October. In a sense, everyone is relieved now that one of us will actually tie the knot. :) I'm happy for her!!

Now, talking about all the detail preparations...my Mum just couldn't help herself but to brag about me, the one event organizer, the multi-task gal ...the wondergirl of the family...They bought her words and called me up for a meeting.

Voila...they appointed me to be the coordinator for the whole event. I was thrilled. I mean, I did this for others, why wouldn't I wanna do it for my own cousin, right?

So, anyway ...we began the many meetings to discuss details, site visit, making layout, tailored the whole rundown and things. I offered to make the short movie clip for their reception. They were thrilled, of course.

MARRIAGE

As I was sitting and having dinner with my cousin's family, I couldn't help but noticing how easy and light they took this whole thing. Well, to call it a preparation..as far as i observed, they were busy preparing for the event, the venue, the menu, decor, the pre-wedding photo session and all. I was wondering whether they have taken the time to prepare themselves on the essence. I mean, venue, menu and decor were all important, but there is something else that is more important, even the most important...well, at least, I believe it is for me though. 

Wedding, I believe is just an event, a ceremony. It's a one time thing. It's a one day happening. 

As for MARRIAGE, it's a legal union of a man and a woman. Yes, marriage is a legal institution between two parties. But not only it is a legal institution (which is protected under the law), but also a spiritual institution. 

Marriage was the first institution that was ordered and introduced by God to mankind. The idea of marriage didn't come from some soap story of Romeo and Juliet, or some Hollywood producers. It didn't come from any Ken and Barbie doll story. It was originated from the very heart of God Himself. 

I find it very romantic, when God purposely put Adam to sleep while He worked His wonder and formed Eve out of the bone of Adam. Then when He was done, He Himself brought and presented her to Adam - not by some kind of middleman effort or some TV show version of today's TAKE HIM OUT.

Turning on my sanctified imagination, I saw God holding Eve closed by His side, walking her by the isle and presented her, unblemished, pure and without spots, to Adam. I think, based on this ancient truth that today’s fathers would walk their daughters by the isle to be presented to the grooms.

Why marriage?

Some people I know have their marriage life easy. I mean, there were some occasional rough rides, but overall the family stay together, finances are in tact, their kids grew up ‘normally’ – as most people would say.

But then, what is normal?

One of the definition given by the Webster Dictionary of the word normal is:

a.       according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle

b.       conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern

So, who’s standard are we using to be able to label some marriage as ‘normal’? Into what kind of type do we conform ourselves in the area of marriage? Are we just calling it normal because of some regular pattern that we see in society?

What was His idea of Marriage?

There is this one ancient quote that I could not shake in reference to marriage. In the book of Malachi, it was revealed that God wanted a godly offspring from the union of man and wife.

A godly offspring.

Picture this. The idea of a godly offspring doesn’t only imply as merely ‘good’ boys and girls. I’d like to picture this as the prophet Joel described, a young generation that would be able to see and prophecy. A generation that would speak things into existence. A generation that would be sensitive to the timing and season of God. A generation that would walk in the authority of God the Almighty.

I believe even the best wedding organizer in town would not be able to construct this kind of result. Not even the best building and catering nor the best pre-wed photographer would be brilliant enough to prepare you for this. It takes God Himself to walk us through the isle up to the altar and all through life for us to have this kind of offspring. It takes humility from our part to acknowledge His blueprint as a standard of living, as a constitution in which we based our judgment as normal living.

As I help out in preparing my cousin’s wedding, I say a prayer in my heart for her and her future husband. May their union together be blessed by God. May they have godly offspring who will walk in the power and authority of God. 

Message In A Bottle

Message In A Bottle stars Robin Wright Penn as Theresa Osborne, a writer for the Chicago Tribune. While her son visits her cheating ex-husband, Theresa goes on a vacation by herself. One day, while running on the beach, she finds a bottle washed up on the shore. She opens it and inside finds a love letter unlike any she's ever read.
Captivated by the author's words of love, she returns to her job at the Tribune where she convinces her boss to run an article about the mystery writer, known only as "G." He approves, and Theresa begins her hunt. Scrutinizing every physical detail of the letter and the path the bottle may have taken, she eventually locates Garret Blake (Kevin Costner), a North Carolina boat-restorer who has not been the same since the tragic death of his beloved wife Catherine.
Since her death, Garret has written several letters to his dead wife, put them in a bottles, and let them loose in the sea. As Theresa spends time with Garret, she quickly falls in love with him, though she neglects to tell him she knows about the letters. Garret, prodded by his cantankerous, no-nonsense dad, Dodge (Paul Newman), emerges from his shell of grief and develops an interest in Theresa as well. Theresa returns to Chicago and Garret soon visits her; he meets her son, Jason (Jesse James), but also discovers her knowledge of the letters. Eventually the two, who have both lost love, must cast off their emotional baggage and decide if they will pursue love even if it can't always last.

***

What a love story!!  A Movie like this would sure entice many young women (and ummm… many 'love crazy' men, too) to drool over and search for the love of their live. An emotional awakening was purposely put together by Nicholas Sparks to portray a romantic search for the romance of life - though in most of his stories have bitter endings.

Now, don't get me wrong yet (put down the stones, please…hehehe). In my opinion, searching for true love is quite normal. Who am I to judge that if a person desire to have a lover, he or she is off track?

I believe we're all born with a longing for a true love, that as human, we not only have brains but also have hearts. We are capable of both THINKING and FEELING. That way, we are born with a capacity to love and be loved. We are created and born with the capacity to be romantic :) It's in our DNA.

In a matter of fact, the whole story of creation began with a LOVE STORY, a divine love story.

The whole first chapter of the story was dedicated in portraying how this unique Person was thinking, planning, creating and making into existing, a beautiful Garden for the lover of His heart. This was far more greater than the Hanging Gardens of Babylon that was built by King Nebuchadnezzar II for his wife.

In all the mystery of universe, He created men that were capable of both thinking and feeling, to receive or to reject, to love or to hate - all in their own FREE act of will- toward Him. He was not creating robots that were pre-programmed to love Him back, nor a toy that He could carry around silently.

He was creating a companion, a mate, a partner for life…for Him.

Then…sin came into that beautiful garden and destroyed the relationship, the beautiful romance that had sprung.

Men died. He lost a lover and it grieved Him.

After so many messages and letters through the ages, in search for His lover, He finally sent His greatest love letter. The difference with Sparks’ letter, His didn’t come inside bottles. His didn’t come in a form of white paper, but in flesh and blood. The whole embodiment of the message was not wrapped in an envelope, but in human skin and bones. This love letter was not written with ink but with drops of blood that dripped and wetted the brown rocky soil. His greatest love letter was nailed on a rugged tree.

This is crazy love, you may say. Yes, I agree. This Supreme Person was and is and continues to love men passionately. He is madly in love with men.

As you read this, look around you…

And when you see the bright morning sun smile at you

When you feel the gentle breeze of the wind caressing your face

When shower of rain asking you to dance in the street

When the beautiful color of the wild flowers greet your way

And the little sparrow hops by your office window

You know Somebody is whispering a gentle message in your heart…

“I love you.”

Dear John

Kata orang, cinta tak selalu harus memiliki. Mungkin kalimat itu benar namun untuk bisa sampai pada kesimpulan itu bukanlah sebuah perjuangan yang ringan. John Tyree (Channing Tatum), misalnya, membuktikan cintanya pada Savannah Lynn Curtis (Amanda Seyfried) bukan dengan cara memiliki Savannah.

Saat sedang mengambil cuti dari tugasnya di militer, John secara tidak sengaja berkenalan dengan Savannah dan Tim (Henry Thomas). Dalam waktu singkat, cinta pun tumbuh di hati John dan Savannah. Sayang John masih harus menyelesaikan tugasnya di militer sebelum ia bisa meminang Savannah. Saat berpisah, John berjanji bahwa ia akan segera kembali untuk meminang Savannah yang sanggup menunggu sampai John kembali.

Tepat di saat masa tugas John sudah berakhir, terjadi peristiwa tragis 11 September yang membuat John berubah pikiran. John merasa bahwa tenaganya masih diperlukan dan memutuskan untuk ikut bertugas meskipun ia sangat ingin pulang untuk menemui Savannah. Setahun John dan Savannah terpisah dan di saat yang bersamaan kedekatan antara Savannah dan Tim pun mulai berubah menjadi cinta.

Saat masa dinas sudah berakhir, John pun pulang hanya untuk mendapati Savannah dan Tim telah menikah. Tim ternyata sakit keras dan hampir tak ada harapan untuk hidup namun di saat seperti ini, John ternyata tetap bisa membuktikan bahwa cinta memang tak selalu harus memiliki.

(Kutipan resensi film DEAR JOHN)

***

Nicholas Sparks telah menulis 15 novel dan 1 buku travelling yang ditulisnya bersama saudara laki-lakinya. 6 di antaranya telah diadaptasi menjadi film layar lebar dan 2 akan segera menyusul di tahun 2011 dan 2012. Seluruh novel-novel yang ditulisnya ini mengambil tema percintaan yang banyak dibumbui oleh penyakit, kematian atau kecelakaan. 

Kehidupan pribadi dari Nicholas sendiri tidak luput dari drama kehidupan. Ibunya meninggal karena kecelakaan saat menunggang kuda. Beberapa tahun berikutnya, ayahnya meninggal karena kecelakaan mobil. Salah satu novelnya yang berjudul A Walk to Remember adalah kisah yang ditulis karena terinspirasi oleh penyakit berkepanjangan yang diderita oleh adik perempuannya. 

Ketika saya mengamati beberapa karya Sparks yang bertabur romantisme, saya menangkap kesan seakan ia ingin dunia tahu bahwa TRUE LOVE masih ada. Namun di sisi lain ia pun menggambarkan betapa sulit, pahit dan getirnya untuk memperoleh cinta yang sejati itu. Mulai dari masalah penyakit kronis, kecelakaan yang tiba-tiba menjelang, pengkhianatan karena situasi dan aneka ragam petaka lainnya. 

Nah, apa yang terjadi bila penonton mulai menggandrungi tulisan-tulisan atau film-film yang ditulis oleh pengarang seperti Nicholas Sparks ini? Bila kisah romansa yang seperti inilah yang memenuhi pikiran kita, maka akan muncul suatu sistem kepercayaan di dalam diri kita bahwa cinta sejati adalah sesuatu yang hampir-hampir mustahil diraih. Tidak hanya itu, kisah sejati adalah suatu jalan berliku yang dipenuhi dengan duri dan semak belukar. Wah....!!

Tapi apakah memang kisah cinta macam itu yang tersedia bagi kita?? Apakah ada alternatif lain?

Well, sebetulnya ada buku romantis lain yang bisa saya rekomendasikan pada kalian. Ummm...tunggu posting-an berikutnya yah... MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

A lesson on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an act of faith, meaning you do it first before seeing any result.
Forgiveness is an act of obedient to God.
You can not wait until the pain is healed to render forgiveness to the one that has hurt you.
man can not heal the wound in your heart, God can - and he is the only one able to do so.
All you need to do is release the forgiveness and then allow God to heal the pain in your heart.
Not releasing forgiveness will hinder God from healing the wound in our heart.

Forgiveness is not a matter of finding who is right or wrong
The fact that somebody is hurt
And as a child of God, I need to do all I can to resolve it
Not pointing finger and find old records of facts
and get the wounds even bigger than what it is

Forgiveness will allow the hands of the Master to work wonder
cleaning out all the germs, stitch the cut and
put around the bandage to the wound
all with the assurance of complete recovery

Do away with the explanation later...
May the love of the Great Physician heal the broken heart...

Keindahan yang Eksotis

Batu Cermin adalah salah satu kawasan gua yang paling terkenal di sekitar Labuan Bajo. Jalan masuknya memang terlihat kurang terawat, seakan-akan dinas pariwisata setempat kekurangan biaya untuk melakukan pemeliharaan. Melewati jalan berbatu yang kiri kanannya dipenuhi dengan pepohonan bambu - yang melengkung secara alamiah - hatiku takjub pada pemandangan yang liar ini.






Stalagmit-stalagmit dan stalagtit-stalagtit seakan beradu cepat untuk tumbuh, meraih dinding di depannya. Pada satu sisi gua, tebing kapur tampak seperti membentuk dinding yang halus dan rata. Sinar matahari yang jatuh padanya terpantulkan dengan sempurna pada jam-jam tertentu. Makanya penduduk sekitar menamai tempat ini Batu Cermin.

Kami menyusuri bagian dalam gua dan menemukan lorong panjang yang tinggi berwarna pualam. Rasanya bagaikan memasuki lorong waktu, kembali ke masa silam.


(Labuan Bajo, NTT)

No more reason

I'm taking off my running shoes
'Coz lately I'm feeling the blues
My brain is too tired with all the muse
My heart aches with all the bruise
I'm counting the queues,
I'm reading the clues
But can't find reason enough to pursue
This is nothing new
You've done this more than just a few
So...
I'm taking off my running shoes
Unless you give me reason enough to pursue

Rain

Don't tell me you hated rain
when your head is all wet again
Don't tell me you feel the pain
when you don't let me even explain

I don't complain for what i could not attain
I just can not remain with all the mundane

It's like a chain in my brain
letting me remain for what I could've gain

You drain me to the vein
but couldn't careless to take the blame

How To Find Your Unique Talents

Talent need not to be related only with intellect. It can be artistic, technical and physicalas well. Not every talent requires being profitable, it just needs to be useful in a positive way. Many of us are still in search of the talents that are hidden within us. Finding the talent that sets us apart from the crowd can be a long process, often tricky also. It needs observation and analysis of one’s own self. If you want to learn how to find your talents, the tips provided in the following lines will surely come handy.

Finding Your Hidden Talent

Find Your Interests
The first step towards finding your talents is to know your interests. What sorts of things do you like to read about, watch or do? What are your favorite shows on television? Which column of the newspaper and magazines do you like to read?

Try Out Different Things
If you want to find out your dexterity in each of the things that interest you, then try them out. Carry out experiments and explore things. Locate a safe environment, where you can try out different things without anybody’s interference.

Find Your Passion
You may be a person of various interests, but there will be only a thing or two, which you are passionate about. What is the one thing that you love to do the most, with utmost enthusiasm? Get the answer for the question and you will come to know what exactly you are passionate about.

Improve Yourself
After you come to know about the areas of your interest, it is the time to improve yourself. Read lots of books and learn from people. One of the best ways to learn something is to teach. Therefore, teach what you have learnt. This will help increase your depth of knowledge. In this process, you will be able to discover all your hidden talents and skills.

Know Your Limits
In the process of finding your strengths or talents, you should not ignore your weaknesses as well. Know your limits. Find out the things in which you are not a pro or lag behind. Know what makes you struggle. You will then come to know about your talents as well as the areas that you need to work on.

At the end, as we find our own unique talents, there won't be any need to compare ourselves with others and be insecure for the rest of our life. Instead, life can be so colorful because each one of us bring and spread our own unique color to the canvas of today's world.

Marriage Is Not My Highest Calling

I believe strongly and wholeheartedly in solid, godly marriages. Marriage is an awe-inspiring, truly blissful thing and something to be lauded and heralded as the God-ordained institution it is. We are people created for marriage and, once married, we should strive daily, at every possible opportunity to encourage each other toward even stronger, even holier marriages.

But marriage is not the end goal of life.

Knowing personally and loving wholly the precious Savior IS the first and foremost goal of life. While such things as marriage and motherhood are, for many, the outworking of this goal, marriage in and of itself doesn’t make a life complete. It doesn’t signal the beginning of “real life.” It is simply a way God has ordained for some–I’d even venture to say most, but certainly not all–to better glorify Himself. Personal fulfillment, joy and happiness aren’t obtained solely through the finding of a life partner. If this is the only thing one is hoping for, waiting idly for, or even preparing solely for, something is severely wrong. Nowhere in scripture does God command or even suggest that marriage is the “IT” thing in the life of anyone–not even young women. In fact, the verses speaking specifically tounmarried women say the opposite–single women should be concerned wholly and completely with learning of, loving and serving their Heavenly Father, not waiting expectantly for life to truly begin with the appearance of Prince Charming.

It seems there is a rash among Christian young women to see their lives as being in a holding pattern until they get married. I know many–far too many–young ladies who prepare in every way and form they can think of, expecting to get married right after high school, because, well, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Some of us grow up often thinking that all we want to do in life is be a wife and mother… so why think of or plan for anything else? We do a good thing in learning basic and sometimes advanced housekeeping skills as we get older, and often, for Christian young women raised (rightly so) to revere and respect the position of wife and mother, this is the thing into which we pour our whole selves while we wait.

Sometimes, though, the waiting is longer than we thought it would be when we were 16. We reach the end of high school and our knight in shining armour hasn’t yet arrived on his white steed, so we wait another year or so, knowing he’ll drop from the sky soon… right? Two years pass… and three… and five… and… before you know it, some have been single for much longer than they expected. They’ve been waiting at home doing everything they can to prepare for marriage–learning to cook, care for children, keep a home. They far surpass the basic housekeeping skills and have become a homemaker any young man would be blessed to have loving him and keeping his home. But some of them are beginning to wonder–what do I do with these single years as a whole? Have I possibly spent these past years waiting for something never meant to complete me in the first place?

We think we’re living for the Lord by preparing for marriage and marriage alone and might even feel a bit puffed up about our “holy focus” instead of doing the so-called “worldly” thing of pursuing a busy life of college, missions, service or anything that doesn’t center on preparation for marriage. We don’t realize we’re actually guilty of doing the very thing we’re accusing the rest of the “world” of doing. We’re living for our own pleasure–we believe we know what will make us happiest and most fulfilled in this life and so, as with someone wishing to enter any other field, we pursue nothing else. Is it worth considering that in some of these situations, perhaps we’re actually being blinded by our own desires? Are our own preconceived notions keeping us from what God actually has for us for this particular season?

By ASHLEIGH | Published: SEPTEMBER 28, 2009

Grow into Your Dream

Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to climb Mount Everest. On May 29, 1953 he scaled the highest mountain then known to man--29,000 feet straight up. The world lauded him. England knighted him for his achievement.

However, it’s little known that Hillary had to grow into this success. You see, in 1952 he attempted to climb Everest, but failed. A few weeks later a group in England asked him to address its members.

Hillary walked on stage to a thunderous applause. The audience was recognizing an attempt at greatness, but Edmund Hillary saw himself as a failure. He moved away from the microphone and walked to the edge of the platform. He shook his fist at a picture of the mountain, and yelled, "Mount Everest, you beat me the first time, but I'll beat you the next time because you've grown all you are going to grow... but I'm still growing!"

Dreams you fail to reach can be conquered later through personal growth. When you first make your attempts you may have made inadequate plans. You may have lacked some skills. You may have partnered with the wrong people. You may have offered an inferior product.

Whatever the reason for initial failure, you can amend yourself and try again. If you desire a thing with enough passion, you can achieve it in spite of multiple failed attempts.

You may need to read more on the subject, take some classes, consult an expert, ask for feedback from trusted associates, or you may need to work a little harder.

See, you can grow. You aren’t stuck with your current weaknesses. You can chip away at these weaknesses. You can learn new skills. And with growth, you can conquer your personal Everest.

Sir Edmund Hillary is known as the conqueror of one of the greatest achievements in history. Yet, he had to grow into his success.

For what great achievement will you be known?

You can grow into it.

Buka Dulu Topengmu

Tapi buka dulu topengmu,
buka dulu topengmu
Biar kulihat warnamu,
kan kulihat warnamu

Itu katanya Peterpan. Mendengar lagu itu di radio, sambil nyengir aku jadi inget sama berita yang masuk ke BB-ku baru-baru ini. BTW...ini kisah nyata abad ini lho... brace yourself...here it is:

DUBES ARAB BATALKAN PERNIKAHAN GARA-GARA CALON ISTRI BERJENGGOT

Seorang duta besar (dubes) Arab membatalkan pernikahannya setelah mengetahui kalau calon istrinya ternyata punya jenggot dan bermata juling! Selama ini wajah wanita itu selalu tertutup cadar.

Demikian seperti diberitakan media Arab berbahasa Inggris, Gulf News dan dilansir kantor berita AFP, Kamis (11/2/2010).

Sebelumnya diplomat Arab tersebut cuma beberapa kali bertemu dengan calon istrinya itu. Dan tiap kali pertemuan, sang wanita selalu menutupi wajahnya dengan cadar.

Setelah pasangan itu menandatangani kontrak pernikahan, sang dubes mencoba mencium mempelai wanita. Saat itulah, pria yang dirahasiakan identitasnya itu mengetahui kalau wanita itu memiliki jenggot dan bermata juling.

Melihat kenyataan itu, sang dubes pun menuntut pembatalan kontrak pernikahan. Dia juga menuntut ganti rugi sebesat 500 ribu dirham (sekitar Rp 1,2 miliar) atas perhiasan, pakaian dan barang-barang lainnya yang telah diberikan untuk wanita tersebut.

Dalam persidangan di pengadilan syariah di Uni Emirat Arab, dubes tersebut mengaku telah ditipu dengan pernikahan tersebut. Sebab selama ini ibu wanita tersebut telah memperlihatkan foto saudara perempuan calon istrinya, bukannya foto wanita itu sendiri.

Pengadilan memang mengabulkan permohonan sang dubes untuk membatalkan pernikahan tersebut. Namun pengadilan menolak tuntutan kompensasi yang diajukannya.

Pria Bertopeng? Wanita Bercadar?

Saya kira dua-duanya sama aja. Don't we like to cover ourselves in fear of rejection, in the uncertainty of being valued and accepted for all we are, for being ourselves?

Di jaman dulu ada juga nih yang kena batunya...gara2 cadar. Pria malang itu adalah Yakub, saudara kembar dari Esau, cucu dari konglomerat Timur Tengah Abraham, yang nama besarnya dikenal dimana-mana.

Yakub jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama dengan seorang gadis yang masih terhitung sanak keluarganya. Gadis itu, Rahel, elok sikapnya dan cantik parasnya. What a rare combination these days!! Berbeda dengan Lea, sang kakak, yang menurut catatan yang kubaca, memiliki mata yang tidak berseri.

Nah, sangking sudah mabuk kepayang cintanya pada Rahel, Yakub sama sekali tidak keberatan untuk bekerja selama 7 tahun -sebagai gembala ternak- bagi calon mertuanya. Aduh...kalo dipikir-pikir, cinta itu dahsyat juga ya. Masa sih 7 tahun serasa beberapa hari aja. Tanpa dibayar pake duit laginya. Wuihhh...Jacob was a fool for Rachel!

Setelah tiba waktu 7 tahun, hari yang dinanti-nantikan pun tiba....THE WEDDING DAY!

Menurut tradisi pada masa itu, seorang mempelai laki-laki tidak diijinkan untuk melihat wajah pasangannya, sampai setelah upacara perkawinan berlangsung, dan mereka masuk ke tenda privat mereka. And... when the celebration was over... Jacob, almost lost his mind with all the waiting he did... opened up the veil on his bride's head...only to find that he had married the WRONG one!

Topeng dan Cadar dalam Pernikahan

Orang bilang, emangnya nikah itu kayak beli kucing dalam karung? Musti kenal dulu dong sama 'kucing'-nya...hehehe. Well, idealnya sih begitu. Makanya banyak pasangan yang kemudian mengambil langkah "pe-de-ka-te', seperti halnya pasutri yang kukenal beberapa bulan belakangan ini. Pernikahan mereka sedang dilanda badai. Penyebabnya...klasik, ...orang ketiga. Sang suami tidak habis pikir mengapa istrinya begitu mudah kepincut dengan laki-laki lain yang notabene adalah kenalan mereka juga dan tinggalnya hanya 1 blok di belakang rumah mereka.

Ternyata masalah mereka yang kemudian menjadi pelik ini dimulai dari berbagai ketidakcocokan dan mis-komunikasi yang berkembang menjadi ketawaran dalam perkawinan mereka.

Apakah mereka sempat belajar saling mengenal waktu berpacaran dulu? Apakah ada tahap 'pe-de-ka-te' yang membuat mereka masing-masing nyaman untuk saling membuka topeng dan cadar mereka?

Menurut sang suami semasa pacaran dulu mereka sering dinner bersama, jalan-jalan ke mall dan nonton bioskop. Very common... Then I asked him, "kalian ngobrol apa aja kalo lagi jalan bareng."

"Ngobrol sih...tentang... tentang...ummm...apa ya? Lupa."

"Gubraaakss!!"

"Gak inget lagi. Ya..kami gak banyak ngobrol deh kayaknya waktu itu. Aku juga udah kepepet harus segera married, karena papaku sakit-sakitan."

No wonder. Istilah 'pe-de-ka-te' yang sering terdengar itu ternyata bermakna...jalan bareng, dinner di luar and nonton bioskop. Malah ada yang langsung ke grepe-grepe.

No wonder...topeng dan cadar itu masih saja nempel di wajah bahkan setelah mengatakan, "I do" di depan pendeta.

No wonder... pernikahan kemudian dipenuhi kejutan-kejutan warna-warni, seperti percikan mercon dan petasan di malam tahun baru, karena topeng dan cadar yang mulai terbuka perlahan-lahan.

Aku jadi kepingin nyanyi bareng Peterpan...

tapi buka dulu topengmu...

buka dulu topengmu...

biar kulihat warnamu...

kan kulihat warnamu....

When are You Gonna Settle Down?

"So, when are you gonna settle down?" I heard my friends ask me. Well, to be frank, this is not the first time somebody ask me this kind of question. I've grown accustom to sound of it. Heard it in family gathering, old friends reunion and small group family dinner. The exact words might vary but the ultimate curiosity of these well-meaning friends and family is...they wanna know when will I decide to 'settle down'.

What is this idea of settling down? To get married, have kids, start a family...?
It is as if by being single would mean that you haven't got there yet. That you are still somewhere there up in the ozone.

Seems like life is not complete yet, like you have not live your life... NOT COMPLETE ...yet.

Uhhh...I could not shake this thought. So bothering me!

Does it mean, as long as you are not married - you only live half way of the portion of joy, enthusiasm, exuberant life you suppose to have?

To be honest - I feel quite satisfied with my singleness. I'm not lacking anything. God supply me with all the joy I need. If I do get married one day, it won't be for the reason of fulfilling the emptiness in the heart, NOPE!

Because being single with the Lord, with friends and family that love me - I'm quite full. My cup runs over with passion and joy. I'm excited of being me - being the single woman I am, the person I am, created in the image of God, to do the good works according to His great pleasures.

(behind the steering wheel on a hot, dusty Saturday)

Confession of a Bookoholic

On a rainy Friday,
"We really shopped today huh?" I said to her , looking at the shoe boxes and the other plastic bags. There were great sales today at Fladeo and Yongki. She smiled at me and said, "So, what did you call all those visit you made to the bookstores last week, the week before and the week before that? I saw you came out with plastic bags, with books in it!"
Whoaaa...busted!!

Well, to be honest, I won't call "that" shopping! :) Walking out with books from the bookstores I visit seems natural for me. I call that researching...

I shop for books everywhere. Bookstores in the airport, hospitals, hotels, malls... secondhand bookstores, even in a thrift stores in the suburb of America. Every time I go overseas, I would always hunt for the bookstores in that city. So, me and books... we are buddies for life...

And I don't consider that shopping.

Until it downed on me today!!

How can i not consider buying books as shopping... and getting a pair of FLADEO shoes as big time shopping?

When you say, I love you...

In the ICU that evening... He rubbed her bald head, looking into her now dimmed eye sight, he whispered, " Go ahead, rest now. I love you..."

I could not shake of that picture. She used to have long, thick, black hair. Beautiful and wavy. Few weeks ago, all was shaved. Bald.

My old friend was battling ovary cancer. They found out about this 6 months ago, about a year after she gave birth to her second son.

I may think that cancer is a merciless and deadly enemy, but what I saw that evening was something cancer could not kill.

What is it with this idea of 'falling in love' that I'm so used to hear every single day? What are people 'falling' for? Good looks? Muscles and biceps? Long eye-lashes and rosie cheeks? or... long, black, thick hair?

When couples say 'I do' by the altar - do they really know what's in for them? Are they even prepared for the worst scenario life will offer them?

That evening, in that ICU room, I witnessed something that Ovary cancer could not kill, something death could not take. I witnessed love... so gentle, committed and true to the end.


In loving memory of the late Pola Renta Glen...

A writer

Kutipan dari Dee...
Rasa ingin tahu seperti itulah yang selalu berusaha saya artikulasikan saat ditanya: apakah modal terbaik seorang penulis? Seorang penulis adalah petualang. Ia berjalan menuju tempat-tempat dalam dirinya dengan lebih rajin dan lebih eksploratif ketimbang turis biasa. Ia tidak mengambil “paket wisata” bersama serombongan orang banyak lainnya. Ia pergi sendiri, berbekal intuisi dan rasa ingin tahu, siap dengan risiko tersasar, gagal, dan jadi gembel. Ia mengamati, bergelut dan bergulat dengan pengamatannya, kemudian meramu dan menyajikannya bak seorang koki menyuguhkan hidangan terbaiknya.

Seorang penulis tidak mutlak memiliki kehidupan dan pengalaman pribadi yang serba luar biasa. Namun seorang penulis harus memiliki hasrat menggali yang luar biasa, yang menjadikan hal kecil sekalipun menjadi istimewa dan bermakna. Ia mampu menemukan mutiara dalam setiap pengamatan, dalam setiap penelusuran. Dan yang lebih penting, ia mampu menyampaikannya dengan jernih. Bukan untuk siapa-siapa. Tapi untuk dirinya sendiri. Seorang penulis berkata-kata bukan untuk melayani orang lain, melainkan untuk menuntaskan keingintahuannya sendiri terlebih dulu.

The Love Garden

Love will bring the best out of people. I've been pondering this thought these past couple of months. It is in love, people will be daring enough to express their real selves - the ugly, the selfish, the unmasked selves. It is in love too, those flaws will be confronted and nurtured and changed. Love is the safe garden for change and transformation to take place.

I Lost Weight, Part 2

The Connection of Food and Emotion

I began to journal my eating (you don't believe it, huh?)...yeps, I did. I took note on what I ate and how I felt afterward. I was so curious. I need to know what was the effect of all the food I ate... that had caused me to gain weight.

First, I notice how the sugar effected me. Every time I ate something with sugar in it, cookies, ice cream, etc...I began to feel refreshed and happy. But it didn't last. 2 or 3 hours afterward, I would want to have sugar again. The cycle continued like this all the time.

Cheryl Townsley, an expert in nutrition said, "sugar is the major cause of my emotional and mental problem...Lowering your sugar intake could cause a symptom similar to a person who stop using drugs." I couldn't agree more.

My body react to sugar. (read my post: 76 Ways Sugar can Ruin Your Health)

It was so bad, that sometimes during the first 2 weeks, I found myself walking back and forth in front of my college's office just to see if she had cookies I can take. This usually happened around 2 or 3pm. I felt restless and could not think straight.

After those lowest season, on the 3rd week, I finally could gain control over my sugar addiction. Yeah, now that I know i was addicted to sugar...

Through it all, I learned to exercise self-control and focusing on what is good for my body.


To be continued...

76 Ways Sugar can Ruin Your Health

In addition to throwing off the body's homeostasis, excess sugar may result in a number of other significant consequences. The following is a listing of some of sugar's metabolic consequences from a variety of medical journals and other scientific publications.

1. Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.
2. Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in your body: causes chromium and copper deficiencies and interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.
3. Sugar can cause can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline, hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.
4. Sugar can produce a significant rise in total cholesterol, triglycerides and bad cholesterol and a decrease in good cholesterol.
5. Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function.
6. Sugar feeds cancer cells and has been connected with the development of cancer of the breast, ovaries, prostate, rectum, pancreas, biliary tract, lung, gallbladder and stomach.
7. Sugar can increase fasting levels of glucose and can cause reactive hypoglycemia.
8. Sugar can weaken eyesight.
9. Sugar can cause many problems with the gastrointestinal tract including: an acidic digestive tract, indigestion, malabsorption in patients with functional bowel disease, increased risk of Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis.
10. Sugar can cause premature aging.
11. Sugar can lead to alcoholism.
12. Sugar can cause your saliva to become acidic, tooth decay, and periodontal disease.
13. Sugar contributes to obesity.
14. Sugar can cause autoimmune diseases such as: arthritis, asthma, multiple sclerosis.
15. Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections)
16. Sugar can cause gallstones.
17. Sugar can cause appendicitis.
18. Sugar can cause hemorrhoids.
19. Sugar can cause varicose veins.
20. Sugar can elevate glucose and insulin responses in oral contraceptive users.
21. Sugar can contribute to osteoporosis.
22. Sugar can cause a decrease in your insulin sensitivity thereby causing an abnormally high insulin levels and eventually diabetes.
23. Sugar can lower your Vitamin E levels.
24. Sugar can increase your systolic blood pressure.
25. Sugar can cause drowsiness and decreased activity in children.
26. High sugar intake increases advanced glycation end products (AGEs)(Sugar molecules attaching to and thereby damaging proteins in the body)
27. Sugar can interfere with your absorption of protein.
28. Sugar causes food allergies.
29. Sugar can cause toxemia during pregnancy
30. Sugar can contribute to eczema in children
31. Sugar can cause atherosclerosis and cardiovascular disease.
32. Sugar can impair the structure of your DNA
33. Sugar can change the structure of protein and cause a permanent alteration of the way the proteins act in your body.
34. Sugar can make your skin age by changing the structure of collagen
35. Sugar can cause cataracts and nearsightedness
36. Sugar can cause emphysema.
37. High sugar intake can impair the physiological homeostasis of many systems in your body
38. Sugar lowers the ability of enzymes to function.
39. Sugar intake is higher in people with Parkinson's disease.
40. Sugar can increase the size of your liver by making your liver cells divide and it can increase the amount of liver fat
41. Sugar can increase kidney size and produce pathological changes in the kidney such as the formation of kidney stones
42. Sugar can damage your pancreas.
43. Sugar can increase your body's fluid retention.
44. Sugar is enemy #1 of your bowel movement.
45. Sugar can compromise the lining of your capillaries.
46. Sugar can make your tendons more brittle.
47. Sugar can cause headaches, including migraines
48. Sugar can reduce the learning capacity, adversely affect school children's grades and cause learning disorders
49. Sugar can cause an increase in delta, alpha, and theta brain waves which can alter your mind's ability to think clearly
50. Sugar can cause depression
51. Sugar can increase your risk of gout
52. Sugar can increase your risk of Alzheimer's disease.
53. Sugar can cause hormonal imbalances such as: increasing estrogen in men, exacerbating PMS, and decreasing growth hormone
54. Sugar can lead to dizziness.
55. Diets high in sugar will increase free radicals and oxidative stress.
56. High sucrose diets of subjects with peripheral vascular disease significantly increases platelet adhesion.
57. High sugar consumption of pregnant adolescents can lead to substantial decrease in gestation duration and is associated with a twofold increased risk for delivering a small-for-gestational-age (SGA) infant
58. Sugar is an addictive substance.
59. Sugar can be intoxicating, similar to alcohol.
60. Sugar given to premature babies can affect the amount of carbon dioxide they produce.
61. Decrease in sugar intake can increase emotional stability.
62. Your body changes sugar into 2 to 5 times more fat in the bloodstream than it does starch.
63. The rapid absorption of sugar promotes excessive food intake in obese subjects.
64. Sugar can worsen the symptoms of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
65. Sugar adversely affects urinary electrolyte composition.
66. Sugar can slow down the ability of your adrenal glands to function.
67. Sugar has the potential of inducing abnormal metabolic processes in a normal healthy individual and to promote chronic degenerative diseases.
68. I.V.s (intravenous feedings) of sugar water can cut off oxygen to your brain.
69. Sugar increases your risk of polio.
70. High sugar intake can cause epileptic seizures.
71. Sugar causes high blood pressure in obese people.
72. In intensive care units: Limiting sugar saves lives.
73. Sugar may induce cell death.
74. In juvenile rehabilitation camps, when children were put on a low sugar diet, there was a 44 percent drop in antisocial behavior.
75. Sugar dehydrates newborns.
76. Sugar can cause gum disease.